You are not restricted to only a traditional service for your loved one. You have the freedom to create a personalized event. Every individual is unique, and so should be his/her life-remembrance event.

Some families prefer a traditional service held in a church, synagogue, or funeral home chapel. Others are looking for a non-traditional gathering in a less formal venue – either indoors or outdoors. The choice is yours. I will work with you in preparing a personalized event created especially for your loved one.

Before choosing a location for the event, think through the preferred tone and mood of the event.  The venue you choose will dictate much of what can happen during the event.

Funeral homes are fully staffed with highly skilled, experienced, and professional leadership. All of the audio/visual equipment you need is already in place, functioning properly, and will be managed by an experienced user who knows how to best operate the equipment.

If you prefer a non-traditional gathering, choose a place that reflects what your loved one valued. Did she have a favorite restaurant? Reserve a side room where you can have some privacy and then enjoy a meal together. Was he a member of a service organization (i.e., Rotary International) or sporting/social organization (a bowling league or automobile club)? Rent a venue where meetings or events were held. Why not gather at her favorite hiking trail or park? Your options are virtually unlimited. There are no rules about where an event can or should be held.

Holding a service at a non-traditional venue will require much more planning and preparation on your part–especially if it is an indoor venue. Some families enjoy the challenge of beginning with a blank slate and planning every detail because it gives them something productive to do with their grief. Others prefer a traditional venue where all of the details are managed for them. Once again, the choice is yours. I can assist you throughout the decision-making process.

Components to an end-of-life event are limited only by your imagination. Several ideas are listed below to help you think through some of the options available to you.

Every person grieves differently. Some mourn verbally while others tend to remain silent. Expect that there will be some at the event who will want to talk publicly about your loved one. Opening up the microphone is one way for you and others to heal. Stories are powerful.

A word of caution: Just because the microphone can be opened for others to use does not mean that it should be. As the event coordinator, you get to make the final decision about who will speak. You might want to hand-select a few who will speak and then encourage others to share their stories with one another after the formalities of the service have concluded. I will help you think through and work through this important decision.

I always encourage families to display images of their loved one. Some will create a photo collage, provide an enlarged, framed photo of their loved, or present a slide show accompanied by a few of their loved one’s favorite songs.

If you or someone you know has the skills, resources, and experience required to create a quality slide show, please consider including a slide show (video tribute) during the event.

If you are working with a funeral home, ask if they have a staff person who can create a digital presentation for you. I can create a slide show for you. Please visit this page for more information.

There are no guidelines for music! You can choose any kind of music for any event – including graveside services. The only exception for recorded music is a service held at a national cemetery. Otherwise, select songs that your loved one loved. A playlist of favorites can be aired before and after the event as people are gathering and dispersing. During the service, you might want to pause to listen to 1 or 2 songs.

If you are using your own or rented audio/visual equipment, test the equipment at least a day before the event in the same venue where the event will be held. This includes not only sound equipment, but also a video projection system.

Personal memorabilia are powerful. Feel free to display items that reflect the life and lifestyle of your love one. Was he a brick mason? Display a trowel and brick. Did she make quilts? Hang one or more at the venue. Did he drive a hot-rod? Display it at the entrance to the venue. Was she an athlete? Bring trophies, ribbons, and even athletic shoes.

Take-aways are popular options. If she loved gardening, consider ordering a custom printed packet of forget-me-not flower seeds. If he was a golfer, order custom-printed golf tees with his name on them. Awareness ribbons are appropriate for death caused by cancer, suicide, or other means. I know of some families that gave away personal items belonging to the deceased, like MatchBox cars, paint brushes, and small hand-held tools.

I will meet with you and other family members to explore, talk through, and plan ideas and options for your loved one’s end-of-life event. I will guide you through the decision-making process, but ultimately, you make the final choices about how the day will unfold. A list of topics we will discuss can be found here.

No. I believe that all major life-events (like birth and death) are deeply spiritual moments. Although I am an ordained minister, I do not press my religious beliefs on grieving families. Unlike some pastors, I do not believe a funeral is primarily a preaching event.

I encourage families to incorporate some kind of spiritual components within the service (like Scripture reading and prayer) led by me or someone else chosen by the family. I have included a selection of Scripture readings here for you to review and consider as a part of the event.